I'm Not Judging You

Hello! If you’re reading this, it means you’re doing the research necessary to find the right therapist for you. That’s already a significant and commendable step. One concern I often hear in therapy is the worry that I, as your therapist, might be judging you for where you are in life. I want to assure you—that simply isn’t true.

It’s understandable why you might feel that way, though. Society often places therapists on a pedestal, viewing us as perfect, almost pastoral figures—elevated above the day-to-day struggles of ordinary life. This image might make it seem like therapists have it all together, never falter, and never make mistakes. But I believe this perception does more harm than good.

When therapists are seen as perfect, it can create a barrier between us and our clients. It can lead to feelings of shame or hesitation, making it harder for you to share the things that would help us work together effectively. Therapy isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being human.

An Experience That Opened My Eyes

I remember working with a client who hesitated to share an incident they had experienced that week. They’d made a decision that seemed right at the time but, upon reflection, realized it wasn’t their best choice. As they recounted the story, I could see the shame beginning to surface.

I gently asked them about it, and they admitted they were afraid I’d judge them. They thought their decision, in hindsight, seemed foolish. That moment reminded me how crucial it is to reinforce the idea that therapy is a judgment-free space.

We’ve all made mistakes—I certainly have. And when you’ve grown up in a dysfunctional household, as many of my clients have, those patterns can lead to decisions that might not always make sense at first glance. What matters isn’t perfection; it’s the ability to reflect, learn, and make choices that serve you better in the future.

Therapy Is a Space for Compassion

I want to be clear: I am not here to judge you. My role is to provide a space of understanding, curiosity, and support. Growth often begins with self-compassion—learning to accept your choices without shame while working toward positive change.

People often say, “Only God can judge,” and even then, I doubt that judgment involves holding mistakes over your head. I believe we are all doing the best we can with the tools we have at any given moment. Therapy is about helping you expand those tools, not criticizing the ones you’ve used in the past.

The Work We’ll Do Together

If you decide to work with me, know that you’re stepping into a space of openness and respect. My approach is rooted in compassion because I understand the unique challenges faced by adult children of dysfunctional families. Together, we’ll work through the patterns that no longer serve you, explore new ways to navigate your experiences, and create a future that feels more aligned with who you truly are.

So, no, I am not judging you. I have no room to judge, and it wouldn’t help either of us if I did. Instead, I’m here to listen, support, and walk alongside you as you build the life you deserve.